Playground

It's been a week. 1 week since I absent mindedly jogged to the playground. It wasn't as I remembered it. I climbed the only familiar thing left in the playground, or what was left of it. The rusty monkey bars. And all of a sudden the tears came falling down. I couldn't stop crying for what seemed like hours as the memories came flooding back. I was like a child once more, who wasn't able to eat that chocolate ice cream or didn't get that big fluffy stuffed toy at the mall. Yes, this was the place where we used to play.

As I leaned over and stared at the ground beneath my dangling feet, I slowly regained my composure and looked around the playground once more. The metal frame of the swing was still there, but without the seats. In addition to the danger of sustaining a fracture from a fall from swinging from the monkey bars, it now posed some serious danger with some of its sharp broken open-ended rusty bars. There were no more lights and I couldn't see any more of the playground. It sure had been forsaken but I wonder how long ago was it.

It's been years since I've been to this place. The place where I would beg you to take me too, especially at night. The place is now quiet. All I could hear was the occasional sound of a cricket in a bush nearby and feel the cool breeze on my face. The tears had dried on my face and for sure my eyes were all puffy. Good thing it was already nighttime. I didn't get scared sitting there by the monkey bars, because I somehow felt safe at that place. It may be pathetic to hold on to those memories, but they're all I have of you that wasn't tainted yet with sadness and hurt. Plus, I could see some joggers by the adjacent road pass me by. 

Over that 1 week since I last visited the playground, I've jogged to that spot 2 more times, each time still having a good cry but a little less dramatic than the last one. haha Now, as I visited to that spot once more, I remember that it is your birthday. I may have not said I LOVE YOU in a very long time, but I want you to know you'll always be my King and I'll always be your Princess and this will always be our playground. My story may have not had a happy ending yet, but I'm sure happy that I got to have some of the most happiest days of my childhood with you. I take a deep breath and smile. It was time to let go of the monkey bars.

Switching to happier thoughts, I can hear oppa gangnam style over my boardmate's room and I slowly smile as I think of the video and think there's always something to be happy and thankful about then just moping around waiting for that fairy godmother to appear. On that note, let's dance to oppa gangnam style! 

Mary Poppins is that you?

Seriously? I haven't really given much thought about you.. Not until yesterday evening when I opened my facebook account and I saw your post on the newsfeed which just screamed of aggressive narcissism. I mean could you get any more self-absorbed? Yes, the checklist says it all. Your ego is as big as your bulging protruding abdomen. 

But why? I couldn't help but think back to the 31st of July when you decided to call me a B. You just had to call me a B. How mature of you :| So many wrong things happened that night, but frankly a part of me (make that a major part of me) is quite happy that you decided to act out like a raving lunatic, waking me up in the middle of the night and blaming me for something so far out. Why? You yourself made me see what a big jerk you are. Oh well. I may have shed a lot of tears that night, but hey.. It was only for a night. Calling me a B was just too extreme. And I think the reason why I'm not missing you right now or even tried missing you is that because I know that what friendship we had was just superficial. We may have spent a lot of time together but I never really got to know the real you since all you ever thought about was yourself. And since you called me a B, well I think I have a right to say how I feel about you. I would have liked to write it down all in writing but it would be a waste of "ink"

And so? Life goes on. I don't know why you can't look me in the eyes these days.. Is it because of the guilt..or you're just happy that you got rid of me. You could have just said it, instead of calling me a B. I sincerely hope you'd GROW UP. As for me, I'm moving on with a light heart and with a clear conscience, hoping that if we'd cross paths again I wouldn't have the urge to strangle you but just as someone who I would love to be friends with. Just like a clean slate. 

*Sorry for this post, I'll try writing happier thoughts next time. ;)